woo!

yeah.

today was insanely busy. insane, i tell you. INSANE. i don't know why, it just was. i even had to sneak away just to go pee, and i got paged while in the bathroom. trail mix and cheezits have sustained me today. i have a migraine.

there was a work party friday night. gussied up. a dress is a big change from scrubs. work colleagues (and superiors) in complete shock. not sure if i liked reaction. will avoid for a while. the gussying, that is.

and yesterday perhaps out of sheer lunacy, i curled my hair. it was HUGE. and then i went and ran errands, me with my head of bouncy big-as-texas hair. it was bizarre. i think i even got a few IQ points dumber from it. i should have taken a photo for you.

today i have been notified that i have taken the lead as having taken the most call AND the most saturday calls out of all the fellows so far this year.

to which i say, bring it, awwwwwwwww yeah BRING! IT!

and then i say, please don't hurt me.

i need a hug, like, bad! right now! but also i need some food. i think i'm delirious. and that, friends, is how "delirious" is spelled. my head hurts, and i have already had two doses of painkillers today.

trips to the drugstore aren't what they used to be. i miss walgreens. nothing like a trip to walgreens to center you.

it is bedtime in ten minutes, especially if i am going to get up at the time i expect. but i got home fifteen minutes ago.

woo!

guess what this is

(this one's worth twenty-five pricklepoints™)

click, click, click, click.

drat.

click. click. clickclick.

dangit!

click, clickclickclick.

crap! freakin'...

click. click. click.

okay. now,

click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click-click.

there.

whew.

for kieran

whoa!

edited for friendship's sake.

life

the fridge is stocked
the laundry's done
the kitchen's clean
with dishwasher run

my family's been called
and a few friends too
to give them good warning
of what i must do

it's about work you see,
in case you should wonder
i'm taking a breath
and now going under

i'm starting service
in the ICU
crazy busy x 5 wk
farewell, adieu

b-a-r-b-i-e

be who you wanna be
b-a-r-b-i-e

oh, man.

every time i see this commercial i wonder how many other adult women silently choke back a little vomit. just a little.

okay so it starts out with a decent idea, "be who you wanna be." that statement isn't exactly perfect, but it's not a bad start. the commercial song voices (bubblegum, lollipops, ponytails) go on to list examples, but frankly, i can't hear what they're saying because i'm overwhelmed with images of sparkles and ballerinas and pinkness and ponies and makeup. not that there's anything wrong with those things. but that's all it is, and that's the problem— it's such a limited range to be supported by the words "be who you wanna be".

have i mentioned that i dislike the word "wanna"? or maybe they were going for "wannabe".

what'd i expect? camouflage? footballs? guns? nah. but come on. something else. please. something so that we aren't pretending to give our girls "freedom" to choose while limiting their choices.

did i own barbie dolls as a child? yes. did i play with them? well, yes, but without sisters some improvisation had to take place. camofoo and camodidi and i somehow combined our toys and played some sort of barbies vs. transformers and airplanes game. we made the barbies the evil side. i can't remember much more about that game except that touching a barbie made you die. and then camodidi would say, "i'm dead." followed two seconds later by, "i'm up!" as his airplane took off again. we got so mad about that.

"you can't do that!"

ohhhhh, that was funny.

my life is great

today i don't feel sorry for myself

because i hear other people whining and complaining about their problems, which really aren't problems at all, and it makes me want to shake them into the realization of how easy they have it.

and so. resolved. i have a great life, and i'm not gonna be a whiner.

neither will i be a snob, who lords it over others and strives for credit or recognition for this great life.

i'm just saying.

an ode to nasal spray

just kidding. i have not written an ode to nasal spray.

i just thought it sounded funny.

and it's allergy season again.

awkward!

so i show up to the work happy hour last night. two of my workmates are there, as is our "boss".

he introduces me to his guest, who is a matchmaker for a living. he looks at me and says, "now don't feel weird about this and take it for what it is." he then turns to his guest and says, "now, of all the fellows who are single, [bunny] here is of the highest quality."

WHAT?

what do you say when your "boss" says something like that? and what of the single fellows that sat on either side of me? awwwwwwk-waaard!

he went on to list some of my past accomplishments. after that, i didn't know what to say or do. so i said, "i have no idea how to respond to that."

he went on some more. "after her interview last year, dr. [r] took her c.v. home, handed it to his daughter, and told her 'this is what your c.v. should look like in several years.'"

at this point i was done. i had no idea what to do with myself. i mean, what do you do?

i was too embarrassed and perplexed to feel flattered.

several hours before that, in the cath lab, i was the only female doc in the room. i stood there in my lead suit, looking around at all these dudes, all wearing wedding rings. i thought about the well-known double standard-- male doctors are prime cuts in the marriage market; female doctors usually have men run away screaming. i thought about it briefly, let out a sigh, and decided to stop thinking about it.

i think these two events reflect off of one another in a way most unpleasant.

validation

i am aglow with pride.

one of my "bosses" complimented my aorta with abnormal aortopulmonary collaterals diagram (or diagramme, if it suits you as such).

it's so nice to be complimented on one's hard work.

and hey, i stared at the angiograms for a long time, and then drew that suckah, i mean, artist's interpretation, freehand! in pencil. and then went over it in sharpie. and then traced it on a new paper with my regular ink pen. and then put the coils on there and labeled it. and then went down and taped a copy to the little baby's crib. so hard work it was. even if it has little to do with practicing medicine.

i'd put it on the fridge if i could. or maybe show my mom.

the old me

i've just been re-reading some of my old posts. my posts from march, to be specific.

i kind of like them. especially the one about the triangle.

i miss the old me.

you know what is annoying? if i post by e-mail, all my posts will end like this:

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE:
The information in this e-mail may be confidential and/or privileged. If you are not the intended recipient or an authorized representative of the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any review, dissemination, or copying of this e-mail and its attachments, if any, or the information contained herein is prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please immediately notify the sender by return e-mail and delete this e-mail from your computer system. Thank you.

lookit

lookit what i drew!



no, you don't understand.

see, i've always thought that i am incapable of drawing, and then i made this pretty picture.

it's nerdy, but i'm rather proud of this diagram and i wanted to share it with someone. oh, i am SO needy!

okay i'm done being a dork now.

for now, i mean.

(and seventy-five pricklepoints™ to you if you can tell me what i have drawn!)

i feel a song coming on

it's autumn.
i have ever so much to tell you.
but there's so much, and i just can't get it all typed right now,
so instead i'll sing it to you.

[sings ballad]

there. got it?

what's in a name

someone called me catty today.

to which i say,

that's just silly.

i'm so obviously not catty,

because i

am bunny.

travel is so broadening

the untold want
by life and land ne'er granted
now, voyager
sail thou forth to seek and find

but when?