it's official

it happens in 18 minutes.

it's here, that day i learned about years ago.  the day, the time-- it earns me a label.  it changes the prognosis of my future.

it's here.  i haven't had time to dread it.  i've made a couple jokes about it here and there, in public.  but inside i feel nothing about it.  i feel nothing.  nothing except the vague feeling that i am supposed to feel something.

i can only wonder if everything will be okay.

one knows that even if it isn't okay, one goes on.

i will beat you to it.

i love you, friends.