temptation

lately i have been entertaining the idea of letting myself go.

"don't do it," camodidi warns me. "don't do it."

but honestly, is there really any reason for me to deny myself food and rest when i am this tired, and am meant to remain all alone in the world anyway?

besides, as my body has already begun the inescapable sag into the world of wrinkles and cellulite,

denying myself pleasure in food and rest is a futile effort toward postponing the inevitable.

the only thing holding me back

is that i lack the money to purchase a new wardrobe to fit my new, larger bottom half. so for now, i wait.

besides, it's cheaper to eat less.