at my new job

at my new job, everyone else is

wildly successful,
extremely intelligent,
unflaggingly industrious,
unfathomably talented,
flamingly competitive,
physically attractive,
accomplished, aggressive, confident, effective, efficient, heroic, outgoing, organized, and published.

(ran out of good adverbs)

seriously. every one of them. i am not exaggerating because there is no need to; this is my blog.

see this little thing that i'm doing? this little bunny hop-hop-hoppity-hopping? no, it's not a peepee dance. it's me wanting to freak out.

i want to freak out, but i can't. i can't because deep down i know it's a freaking miracle that i even got this job, and God has protected me and deliberately guided me into it, and caused me to appear to shine in all the other horribly hard jobs i've had and as an added bonus made all those other jobs not so hard. knowing that counters the freaky-outy-ness inside me somehow.

i also cannot freak out because, i think, i subconsciously won't let myself because a) it won't help anything and b) it will take up too much time and energy, both of which i must conserve for this next year which, i'm told, will be the worst of my entire life.

"but you're going to have a blast," they also say.

and this here is my barf bucket. you know, just in case.