nerd alert: formulas for dating success

okay.

a guy i went to medical school with told me about this first one. i don't know whether he made it up or not, but i think it holds true.

where
D = probability of getting a date,
At = attractiveness,
Av = availability,
S= standards.

the fun comes in when you begin adjusting your variables to fit each particular person. as you can see, a person with a high level of attractiveness will have a high D. a person with a low level of attractiveness will have a lower D, but if their degree of availability is quite high, this may compensate for it. of course, no matter how attractive you are, if your availability is zero, you're hosed.

i personally have the most fun playing with the S variable in the denominator. like this:

so you see, as your standards get lower, indeed as your standards approach zero, your D will increase, approaching infinity. likewise, if your standards get ever higher, your D asymptotically approaches zero.

now here's one i've been working on for people who are already in relationships.

where
R = success in the relationship,
C = things shared in common
D_m = degree of density of the male, and
I_f = degree of insanity of the female.

i find this one rather obvious and self-explanatory.

while we are on the subject, there are some things i've been wondering about love amongst my blogfriends and blogacquaintances. i wonder if the babbling dweeb is in love with his seattle "friend", because not many men his age take such photos of women as his (the black and white ones) unless they love them. i wonder if d and t are in love. he did propose to her in a blog comment after all. i wonder if nick is as in love with valancy jane as she is with him, seeing as he never ever mentions it. and i wonder if anyone will ever be in love with me, despite the fact that i am not an oscar mayer wiener (snicker).

the end.