imaginary audience

part one: they were watching me

i was getting a haircut. the woman in the stylist's chair next to mine was looking at me. where was her stylist? she had been looking at me too. they had been looking at me and whispering to each other.

surely not. aren't i past this adolescent developmental stage, jean piaget? why am i so paranoid?

the stylist returned with swatches of fake hair in her hand. she held them up in the air, sort of in my general direction. "this color is similar. there's a little less red to it. and this one is deep and rich, with a little more red. what do you think?"

they were looking at me. evidently the woman had requested to have her hair dyed to be the same color as mine.

part two: she was watching me

i like chick-fil-a. it's yummy. as i enjoyed my waffle fries i noticed her looking at me. i did not make eye contact. i just kept eating, thinking, no, bunny. she's not looking at you. she's just looking around, and you were in her line of sight for a minute.

she stood up. she was pregnant. i was surprised by this. i don't know why. she came to my table.

"pardon me, did you go to [insert name of dead president] high school?" no, i did not. "oh, it's so weird! you look so much like this girl i went to high school with. you have the same mannerisms and everything."

part three: they were watching me

evidently on wednesday afternoons there are a lot of old people shopping at the mall. make that old women shopping at the mall, and their husbands (also old) sitting on the benches at the mall. and sitting outside fitting rooms. and sitting in the food court. and i mean old like septugenarian old. i tried to tell myself, don't be silly, they're not looking at you. but 1) twice before people were looking at me and 2) these dudes they were so totally blatantly and obviously watching me walk by. i want to say "ew," but i suppose this is a free country, and looking isn't a crime, and in their minds men don't remember that they’re old when they're looking at girls.

still, ew.

part four: they are watching us

if you have gmail, have you noticed the way that the sponsored links on your sidebar change according to the content of the e-mail message you are reading? i find this greatly disturbing.