shoes

(male readers: i feel the title of this post to be fair warning in and of itself.)

oh, yeah. did i mention? i have a lot of shoes.

i was thinking about this while cleaning up the living room for the maintenance people who will be coming in at an unannounced time to change my air filter and perform some sort of inspection. what sort i do not know. (mental note— do not hang around in bathrobe this week.)

well i don’t wear shoes in the house, so i take them off at the front door. (mental note— my new place must have an entryway and a way to keep my shoes tastefully stored and hidden.) and there they sit. why should i move them? sooooo, i have a lot of shoes hanging out on the first level of my place. um, a lot. while straightening them up, i thought to myself, i wonder how many pairs of shoes i have? the answer to that question frightened me:

i have no idea.

i'm not one of those. i don't obsess about my shoes, nor would i blow my life savings on them. but when did i get to be a shoe-bie? i don’t know. it’s so not me to be all shoey. but maybe it is. i think it was in medical school, when i started to have to dress up daily. i started getting shoe compliments, and well, that was it.

at work i am now known for my shoes. when i walk into a room, the nurses and residents, female and male, notice me and quickly look down to check my shoes, and then scan upward to check out the rest of my outfit if i’m not in my white coat. or scrubs. or flightsuit. i see them do it. it's funny. it does create some pressure, having the reputation for fabulous shoes that i do. one would not want to disappoint. (mental note—time to go buy more shoes.) just kidding.

i can’t remember the last time i bought shoes though. i think it was in the early fall. espadrilles. on sale online. and before that? motorcycle boots. on sale online. or was it scarf-style ankle-tie open-toe pumps, a pair in each of two colors, on sale at the mall?

my shoe opinions, like my others, are strong and somewhat unusual. i am decidedly anti- pointy toes, but i can't decide whether it's because they look witchy, slutty, circus-y, or elfin. i am a great fan of ankle-ties. ugg boots are ridiculous-looking; wear them only if you are desperate to keep warm inside the house. a good mary jane style can take you a long way. the cowboy boot trend is poser and stupid. the slingback is forever. flip-flops are and always will be informal; don't wear them to the white house. and without extra height under the toebox, anything over 2 1/2 inches for a heel teeters on the edge of trashy. over 3 1/2 inches makes them stripper shoes. i thought that was common knowledge though.

i haven’t seen any shoe-related posts there lately, but here is a blog about shoeism. the lass makes me feel how old and salty i am, but girlfriend seems to know shoes.

right now my most pressing shoe question is “where are the shoelaces to my green plaid sneakers?”