worst
camodidi set out less than an hour ago, leaving me with that feeling that i hate most in the entire world. you know the one? you've had friends/family over or party at your place, and once everyone leaves it is just so freaking empty. empty and quiet. and i don't know what to do with myself. even though there's just so much i need to do, i don't want to do anything because i feel bad.
it sucks. it's the worst.
(it's a version of the feeling of abandonment. that's why.)
so i have the tv on loud and am sitting at the computer, blogging. writing stuff that just a very few people will read.
it won't take long for this feeling to pass, because i'm going to drive to the hospital and immerse myself in all the paperwork i have to do. i've never before understood people who throw themselves into work in this way for this reason-- now i guess i have gained a little more insight into that phenomenon. it sucks too, by the way.
and tomorrow, hopefully, it will be back to the usual game.
but tonight when i get home from the hospital i am going to redeem my credit card rewards points for a free ipod touch. so there.
it sucks. it's the worst.
(it's a version of the feeling of abandonment. that's why.)
so i have the tv on loud and am sitting at the computer, blogging. writing stuff that just a very few people will read.
it won't take long for this feeling to pass, because i'm going to drive to the hospital and immerse myself in all the paperwork i have to do. i've never before understood people who throw themselves into work in this way for this reason-- now i guess i have gained a little more insight into that phenomenon. it sucks too, by the way.
and tomorrow, hopefully, it will be back to the usual game.
but tonight when i get home from the hospital i am going to redeem my credit card rewards points for a free ipod touch. so there.
posted by CamoBunny at 18:03
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3 comments
3 Comments:
Bummer.
If this helps, I had a dream last night that you, me, puffintoad, and our rocket-scientist-turned-mom friend, were reuniting at our old stomping grounds, at the La Garbanza (???)--supposedly THE hangout place north of campus which had the BEST pizza. It was great (not the pizza--never ever have I ever eaten the type of pizza this dreamworld pizzaplace served. The cheese was like --I hate to use this description--pus! Yes, runny and not too appetizing looking. But as dreamworlds go, it didn't phase us too much because the artichoke hearts and sundried tomatoes underneath it all cancelled out the infectious appearance and intial gut reaction.) We were all having a great time! Talking, laughing, eating...until I realized I had to go all the way back to the dorm to get my notebook for my class which was starting in 10 minutes!! So I ran from campus corner to the dorms, waited impatiently for another 10 min. to catch the elevator to 8. squeezed in to this 3x3x3 ft elevator car, shaped as an old 70s TV!, got out--barely. Waded my way through people's empty boxes and party clothes and suitcases that cluttered the hallway--still filled with all the hope in the world that I would make it to most of the class. Grabbed my notebook, and bike helmet. Ran in to a friend who needed to talk. Had to cut it short. And by the time I got back to the elevators, my class would be almost over. .. I then woke up in a sweat, with the hymn How Great Thou Art lingering briefly in my mind.???? I think I was going to introduce that hymn to the class discussion that day and was super excited about it, which was another reason why I really needed to make it to that class. ????
Weird.
Not sure how this might help you, besides making you laugh or gross out with the pizza. (I've been seeing MRSA abscesses this week in clinic--blech). Just thought I'd share that your friendship is apparently not just through the internet and prayers but in my subconscious too. Which means you're cared about way over here in the Arctic and hopefully some of those thoughts and "postive energy" (with a slight roll of my eyes) will give you a little boost during your empty feeling times.
And I too am now heading to the hospital (actually, training center) to go do some paperwork.
Enjoy that ipod! Oh try this as a booster, I've done it before and it actually helped some: Play some loud music (80s music preferably) and dance around your place by yourself. Practice moves you'd never do in public or that you actually might do if you practiced (like the moowalk! or the running man!) Ha!! ha! ha! And throw in some cheerleader jumps! Saying, "Gooooo Camobunny!" Hee hee hee! And once you get those jumps down, when it's middle of the night and you're on call and no one is in the hallways, look all directions including the ceiling corners for the presence of a security camera, and if all clear--do a jump. Or better yet, do one in walking rounds. And even better...make the med students do a jump!--I'm sure they'd do anything to gain your favor--wouldn't that be so funny! Okay, I know it's a little farout, maybe only in the dreamworld some of that could happen...but wouldn't it be funny? Ha!
9/30/2007 07:18:00 PM
oh, ES. it would be funny. funny indeed.
i can't tell you how it touches me that i was included in your dream. as much as being abandoned makes me feel bad, so being remembered and included makes me feel that much more... good. you know what i mean. so it means a lot to me. so much, in fact, that my bad feeling is gone tonight.
your dream is rife with imagery and ripe for interpretation. i leave it to... hey! maybe i should make this the next contest at the prickly. "interpret ES's dream. best interp wins... something." okay, so it needs more thought.
thank you for your much-needed words of friendship and encouragement. what a blessing.
10/01/2007 09:14:00 PM
Oh, the contest would be insteresting. if you really did do it, I'd HAVE TO tell you one more interesting point that I chose to leave out about the professor. That would add to the fun of interpretation...
10/03/2007 03:18:00 PM
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