dangerous changes

something's up. still.

today i crossed the line.

i hit a guy.

no, not like i hauled off and punched him. i was talking all out of my head ("don't you EVER accuse me of not doing my work!") and i thumped him on the chest with the back of my hand.

so. assault and battery is my theme now, is it?

i wish i could say that this is extremely out of character for me.

something tells me, you know, it just might not be.

i apologized immediately.

shame, shame, guilt, guilt, and we move on. he's completely cool with me.

i'm not cool with me though.

THIS, folks, is why i chose not to go into surgery. work cultures can be powerful, and i didn't want to become one of that sort. i'd be way beyond this line by now.

so.

one of the first things i'm going to do on my vacation upcoming is to get a massage.

then i'm going to put on a hair shirt, eat nothing but lotus, and alternate feeling sorry and meditating on self-improvement for the rest of the week.