tips

for parents:

give your child the world. prepare your child for the world. also, there are other things in this world besides your child. don't go on and on about your baby in front of a woman who has had multiple miscarriages. don't go on and on about your baby in front of people who don't have kids, because after a few minutes, they are only being polite. people don't like hearing kids scream; try not to let it happen in public. you will need extra time; allow for it. don't trick people into babysitting; that's just cruel. having a baby is special, but remember that the entire world is populated by people who have gotten born. maintain your skills in adult conversation. don't use your baby as a doll or a paperweight. you are probably blind to some of your child's flaws. you are probably too obsessive about some of your child's flaws. babies should not be put in grown-up clothing styles or poses; it looks creepy. babies should not be given whitecastle burgers or beer. babies cry; it's what they do, so don't call your baby a "crybaby" as though it were an insult. YOU are the boss, not your child. your child does not know what is best for him/herself, so maybe he/she ought not always dictate circumstances. and most importantly, they are not for you; you are for them.

for non-parents:

if the kid is not cute, pick something else to be complimentary about. saying which parent the baby looks like is always a good option. yes, when you have kids in the future, everyone will find them as obnoxious as you find other people's kids, and as obnoxious as you were when you were a kid. don't hate children, considering that you were one once, and probably still are one if you feel that strongly about it. if your colleagues or friends have kids, they need extra time for everything; allow for that. kids don't often mean it personally; if you're hurt by it, it's probably because they've echoed something you already knew about yourself. you don't know much about kids and they actually have something to teach you. children are impressionable; be on your best behavior around them and they will behave around you. children are more honest than you will ever again be. and very importantly, never, never make an enemy of a child; they can cause more suffering than you can possibly stand considering their access to and willingness to use toys, bodily fluids, and their voices as weapons.