storm and drag

it's raining. hard. and i love it!

no, not because it's about darkness and violent thunder and gloom and doom. no, nono.

it's because it's falling water. washing things clean. hopefully that includes my car. hopefully all my windows are rolled up. washing things away. hopefully not my car, but the pollen collected in the parking lot, and the fallen, browning flower petals.

because it's dark during the day, not because it's evil and gloomy, but because it's kinda fun, like an adventure, or like when the power goes out but you are prepared and you know everything's going to be okay, and you're hanging out with candles burning and your battery-powered radio drinking kool-aid or hot chocolate.

and because it's noisy, but it's white noise, the kind that is soothing, don'tchaknow.

so not because i revel in the dark and terrible. honest.

and yet,

over the past few days i have felt it returning. the slight downward pull on my spirits and on the corners of my mouth. the hesitation to enjoy myself. the lingering of my thoughts in untoward places. a drag in my usually sprightly, or at least rapid, step.

and so i raise my cup of hot chocolate, saying, here's hoping it's just hormones, and that this storm will really cheer me.