delusions of grandeur

or perhaps not.

i have an idea. it's a big idea that feels far-fetched. it's for the kids.

here's the thing. i've generally been a girl who can make things happen. most of these things are small, but a few of them have been medium to big and some have even been successful.

now that i'm older and (even though it may not feel like it and my paycheck may not reflect it) higher up in the world, i am in contact with bigger people who can help make bigger things happen.

so. let's see how this big idea turns out.

one thing i have discovered about myself as this process starts is that along with the bigness of the idea goes the bigness of my ego. that was another awesome sentence. inside i am wanting credit for my idea and expect a certain type of personal gain. i've caught some pretty grandiose fantasies by the tail as they run through my head. so you know what? remember that old "attitude o' gratitude" thing i had going on? that thing kept my ego in check. i may have to pick it back up again.

anyway, i'm excited about this big thing. it should be fun. it's way more fun than my actual job.