disturbing knits

it is disturbing.

i don’t know what to say.

(pause)

...

(recover)

“hello, i see that you’re knitting. what are you making?”

bored with scarves, i was looking for something different to knit. a hat, or another bunny or something. now i found bunnies and i found hats. but you know what else i found along the way? all sorts of weird s***, that’s what. pardon my language, but that's what it is.

knit breast prostheses. okay, if you’ve had a mastectomy, maybe that’s not so weird. actually that makes sense. okay. but knit condom pouches ("for when you're on-the-go"), vibrator cosies, and "willy-warmers"? useful or weird? can’t decide. oh, wait, actually yes i can: weird. knit (and crocheted, being very careful about typos now) male and female external genitalia? whatever. weird.

what took the cake was the knit uterus and fallopian tubes.

why? why, why, why?

please don’t answer.

that’s what i get for looking for patterns on the internet, i guess.

people are bizarre.

now a prude i may be, but it’s not the subject matter that bothers me. i am a physician, after all. it’s the fact that someone thought to design and knit all these things. i mean, what the heck? i’m much more comfortable with the real things than these weirdo knit versions.

wait, that came out sounding all wrong.

nevermind. there’s no fixing any of this.

“hello, i see that you’re knitting. what are you making?”