petulant

sometimes i want to make people pay for forgetting to remember me
by making them remember that they’ve forgotten me

and then all they can see is my hair a-swinging
and the soles of my shoes
as i walk away.

anyway. for those of you who suddenly remembered and haven't finished reading through my blog to see how i'm doing (there are enough of you that i'll sum it all up here)...

i'm in a new place with a new job. it's hard work. things are rocky with my family. i dislike my hair (which, actually, doesn't swing anymore) and my clothes and my shoes. i haven't found a church to call home yet, and this makes me very crabby indeed. all the churches are so mono-cultural. with ultra-lame music to boot. gah. i like my new home; it is great, but i made a big mess of it, and home-owning is a lot of responsibility. i'm keeping up with cooking. i hate cooking. i'm healthy and gaining weight. my salary is really crappy again. i haven't made friends outside of work, because i don't spend much time outside of work. and work friends are all as busy as i am. i'm still single without prospects, and have given up hope in this area of life, figuring that since it isn't going to change, worrying and feeling disappointed about it is just a waste of emotional energy.

i'm generically (and temporarily) unhappy but not miserable. so i'm crabby and i crab about stuff, but life isn't taupe despair for the moment. my life is a good life. no one is actively oppressing me at this very moment, although long-distance attempts continue. no one i'm close to is ill or dying. no one is beating me. i have no major active diseases. i have food to eat and a safe place to live and long-term assurance for my soul.

i report it to you.