birthdays

i have to say, i just really enjoy my job sometimes. i remind myself this morning that it is a big honor to be one of the first to lay hands on a new baby, helping bring warmth and breath, making it a happy birthday.

i left the operating room smiling this last time, smiling just because.

i suppose i will miss this aspect of the job.

there will be other things i enjoy. i hope.

i had a fleeting thought there at the ohio table, that recurring thought of bringing innocent new life into this old, dirty world.

there i stood, waiting for the five-minute buzzer, looking at those bright eyes and chubby cheeks, hearing those first gasps and cries of life, laughing at how she held her legs straight and her feet up by her ears (she had been breech).

God bless you, little one. God bless you. there will be pain and grief. yes, there will. but also, there will be joy.

there will.