is there?

is there a kind of hope that lacks confidence?

i am certainly not hopeless. i have never lost hope. but i would say a lot of the time my hope is small, kind of cringing in the corner. worried. i have an image in my head of that wimpy cat from the he-man cartoon, quivering in a spotlight. wasn't his name cringer? it seems counterintuitive, that hope could be diffident, uncertain.

there's a poem rattling around in my head about it. something about how i dare not drink from this pool of hope, that i might fall, be caught up in waves of expectation and drowned in depths of disappointment. i haven't written it yet.

but i do have hope. it's small, but it's there.

i hope.