appoint

i am a little bit sad and a little bit mad.

my new friend said, "well i think maybe it's that you have an ability to see things, and how they could be, and you have hope in that, and when people don't live up to that you're disappointed. disappointed is what i'd call it."

i've tried. i've tried not to have hope in people. but i forget, and set myself up again and again. believe though, friend, i do know better. i just forget.

four times in the past week i have been disappointed by the disinterest of others. countless times has my behavior disappointed myself.

and now it gets bigger.